


Embracing Myself

by Darksinokaru



Category: One Piece
Genre: Bottom Zoro, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Foul Language, Humor, M/M, Romance, Uke Zoro, i explain my absence in the notes, sanzo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-05 19:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10315109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darksinokaru/pseuds/Darksinokaru
Summary: During a brutal and sudden storm something terrible happens to Sanji. And when all is said and done, he finds himself wanting to finally be honest with himself, to finally embrace himself for who he really is. With this in mind. He goes to Zoro and says something that changes everything.*Explanation on where I've been in notes before chapterSanji/Zoro





	1. Preface: The Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys. These chapters will probably be short. But, it's all I can do. Now, I KNOW it's been fucking forever. I have NOT been absent by choice. Some of you may not follow me on tumblr, or have not seen it, but I have been horrifically injured. I won't go into details, but I have not been able to do anything but lie on my back in pain for the last nine months. In many ways wishing I was dead. But that's neither here nor there. I have improved slightly and can stand for short periods of time (cannot sit). So, I'm going to write on this in the short intervals I can stand. If you want to know more, you can pop over to my tumblr (link is on my bio here) and ask me (you can ask anonymously and I can answer privately). I also can answer any emails too (and my email is in my bio too). I also explained the situation on tumblr, so you can try and find the tumblr post too. Anyway, I wanted to explain what's been up. I WISH I wasn't still injured (and having doctor's tell me they can't see anything, which pisses me of when I can see it), and still writing. I want to get back to writing for you guys, and updating my current fics, but I don't think I want to write on them because I can't write for very long, and I don't have the ability to write detailed smut (I explain it on tumblr, and can via messaging/emailing). Doesn't mean there won't be sexual content in this, but no graphic smut. Sorry. If I can finally get the fucking doctor's to see what's wrong and fix me, then the ratiing fo this will go up and I will do my usual. I also apologize for how this is written. I haven't written shit in almost a year (sobs). So I'm extremely rusty. Bad time for me to launch a writing patreon too, but I'm tired of not doing what I had planned on doing almost a year ago (makes me sick that its been so long).
> 
> Anyway, I SEVERELY (yes) apologize to you guys. I'm so sorry that I just disappeared. I didn't expect things to turn out like this. I thought, oh, next month, then next month, and etc. And so I never got to even trying to contact anyone cuz I was hoping I'd be better in a couple weeks. Nope. I even had a shitty, painful, lonely Halloween, birthday, and Christmas. I wish the punishment would end.
> 
> Anyway! Again. I really hope that you guys like this. Please bear with the short chapters and rusty writing. They may vary in length, as some may be longer. It all depends on what I can do and if I feel like I can write two days in a row (I'm not always able to stand two days in a row). Anyway, let's enjoy this fic and have some sanzo fun (I really miss sanzo goodness). Because this is so short, I might try to update again today, but I may not get to. Let's hope that I do. Please enjoy! I sincerely hope you do despite it's shortness! 
> 
> I do not own One Piece or any of its related materials.
> 
> https://youtu.be/Xu1xmOX32L0

“Portside!” Nami’s voice cried out, though it was ultimately drowned out by the crackling boom of the thunder as lightning lit up the black, ominonous sky in violent white. Turbulent seas threw and batted the Sunny across the ocean as violent waves attempted to jump over the rails every few seconds to wash out bodies of the pirates. The Straw Hats were either running around their ship trying to stop the sails from being further shredded by the screaming wind before the ship was capsized, or clinging to the mast or rails for dear life.

“Oi! Stupid fucking marimo! Just fucking pull!” the resident blonde cook snarled, his cigarette soaked but still between his grit teeth as he glared daggers at the first mate.

“I am! You’re the stupid one!” the swordsman and first mate snarled back, baring his fangs in aggitation.

“Just stop fighting already and finish!” Nami screamed, her voice cracking with its force, but still it became only a drowned sound within the ferocious anger of the storm, which demanded to be the only one heard.

After some time, the sails were tucked away safely even though there had been some damage that would need to be repaired. The storm had hit in just a matter of seconds. The crew hadn’t experienced such wacky weather since the Grand Line, especially weather that hit too suddenly even for their navigator to give fair warning. It had only been minutes from Nami’s suddenly cry that the sky suddenly, unnaturally filled with black as violent winds kicked up and disturbed the ocean’s once calm surface. It had been in fact, unearthly in its sudden onset. But, everyone was now inside and stripping out of their wet clothes in their respective dorms before intending to head to the galley for some hot food and drink. 

“Hey, where’s Sanji-kun?” Nami asked when she entered, and Zoro paused before giving a shrug. 

“Probably fussing over that stupid, pretty boy dart board brow face of his,” the swordsman declared blandly. There was a pause as Usopp spoke up, sounding a bit… hesitant… scared even.

“Uh… I was the last one in there. Sanji wasn’t with me,” Usopp said, and everyone paused as a heavy silence filled the room. All at once, in a flurry of motion, everyone darted for the men’s dorm, uncaring of boy or girl rules. The cabin and attached restroom were disturbingly silent. Absent of human life. Zoro immediately tore the door of the men’s dorm open, stepped into the turbulent storm and squinted his eyes to scan the deck of the ship. It was hard to see in the dark with the heavy rain and violent wind. Zoro gripped the rail tight with his right hand as Luffy stepped up next to him, oddly silent as a deep frown turned his lips. There was no sign of the blonde mop of hair that belonged to the cook. No movement, no sound of a voice other than the storm’s. 

“Did Sanji-kun… go overboard?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://darksinokaru.tumblr.com/post/158499919110/what-fic-would-you-guys-like-to-see


	2. The Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew discover an island nearby after the storm and hurry to it, hoping their chef may have washed ashore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Managed to do a much longer chapter! But I'm done for today. I need to rest. I sincerely hope you guys like it! And thank you so much to those of you showing support. It means so much to have it after so long, especially with my injury. Thank you, thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
> 
> So, with no more to say-enjoy!
> 
> I do not own One Piece or any of its related materials.

It was with great panic that the Shark Submerge III was sent out, crammed full with a few members of the crew. They searched, battling the violent currents of the ocean as they looked through the darkness of the ocean. It was three hours later that Franky, Luffy, and Usopp returned, exhausted and crestfallen, broken inside. Chopper burst into tears, which Franky and Usopp followed by example. Luffy fell absolutely silent, though he kicked at the deck in frustration for a while. Even as everyone reluctantly went back inside, silent and reeling from the loss, Luffy remained outside in the storm, screaming in anger up at the sky. Zoro sat down against the mass, eyes hard and a deep frown upon his lips as he remained still, half making sure they didn’t lose Luffy too, but also finding it hard to believe that the cook was really gone. For some reason, he just couldn’t leave the deck, thinking that the cook might just pop up.

How could this have happened? He had just been there! Zoro recalled he and Sanji fighting just about ten or fifteen minutes before everyone had started to go inside. Had he been lingering? How could that bastard get swept up in the water? Weren’t those legs supposed to be fucking incredible or something? Surely he shouldn’t have been able to be washed away so easily. Zoro knew that the cook could easily have kicked the ocean’s ass. Eventually, Luffy went back up to the galley, most likely to check on everyone else. The swordsman remained, unable to move. What if the cook was somehow still out there? What if the others somehow had missed him? What if he was out there, screaming for someone to notice him? The thought made Zoro feel ill as his heart twisted in pain. He would stay, no matter how much he had to fight the ocean.

‘Cook… you can’t really be gone, can you?’ 

Sure. They fought all the time. And he was an annoying bastard. But never, never did the swordsman ever wish for something bad to happen the cook. Misery maybe, but not death. And not… like this. And so Zoro remained, sat still, unmoving despite the violence of the ocean.

He snorted awake when he felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked sharp, alert eyes up to find Usopp, who let out a yelp and jumped back from him. He grunted and rolled his shoulders, finding them quite stiff and sore as the sniper gave an odd, solemn smile. 

“Morning,” he said, voice a bit hoarse. Had he been crying? All night? There were bags under the long-nosed man’s eyes, and as Zoro cracked his shoulders and stood, he noticed that everyone was on deck, looking just as haggard as Usopp. 

“Swordsman-san,” Robin greeted as she passed him, looking a sickly pale. Even Robin had been affected deeply, who usually managed to remain so together.

“I can’t believe you slept. No one else did,” Nami grumbled, and Zoro grunted as he looked up at the crystal clear blue sky and the bright warm sun. It was as if the entire storm event had nothing more than a ghost. But, as he looked up at the front of the ship, the cook’s favorite morning smoke spot, there was no blonde. His heart dropped into his stomach, which rolled with nausea. Zoro frowned, feeling absolutely sick as a horrid chill settled over his skin. This… this was a fucking nightmare. This couldn’t be real. It didn’t feel real.

“We have to repair the sails,” Nami mumbled, her voice emotionless. Through the day the sails were repaired and the ship began to move. Zoro stared down at the water, as did everyone at different intervals, and he wondered if they really should move at all. What if the cook was down there? At the bottom of the sea. Dead. Right there, right under them. And a horrifying, haunting feeling gripped the swordsman.

“Guys! Guys!” There’s was a sudden ruckus and a cheer as voices picked up in excitement. Zoro pulled back from staring over the rail into the sea, to see Usopp jumping up and down with a map with Nami clapping and laughing excitedly. An odd feeling of being in a dream hit the swordsman then. Had he fallen asleep? To see such happiness so quickly after the cook’s loss? He looked around, guessing that a dream would include the blonde. But there was no chef.

“There’s an island not too far from here!” Nami cried out, and Zoro felt his heart swell and surge unexpectedly with positive emotion. He felt his lips twitch a little, wanting to smile in excitement. He hadn’t even realized how happy he would be, to hear that news, considering he was aware of what was going to be suggested.

“If Sanji went overboard and couldn’t get back to the ship, you bet he made it to the island!” Usopp cried, and the energy of the entire ship erupted in cheers and hopeful glee. Zoro finally smiled broad and joined the others on the main deck.

“We’ll head straight for that island! It has a somewhat high reading, so we should expect some trouble. But hopefully Sanji will be doing well there,” Nami explained with a shining smile, and everyone gave a loud hoot as Robin smiled and laughed softly, her eyes alight with hope.

“It’ll take a couple days. But we’ll make it there and search for Sanji,” Nami finished, and there was another round of cheers. Everyone was dead set that the cook was on that island and okay.

“And since Sanji’s a cook he won’t be hungry!” Luffy cried, and everyone paused before laughing. After all, they didn’t know if there would actually be any edible food on the island. But go figure that their captain would think so simply.

It took a little less time than planned. It was around noon the second day that the island came into sight and the entire ship was buzzing with energy as everyone ran around, preparing and trying to get a view of the coastline.

“There’s lots of driftwood and seaweed on the beach. Damn, lots of fish too,” Usopp informed when they were close enough for him to get a good view. Luffy laughed excitedly.

“Food!”

Usopp reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a small green ball. Grabbing his enhanced slingshot he launched the ball, which shot high into the air. The force of the wind unfurled the greeny leaves and a bright red powder shot into the air. Usopp took a small, soft ball soaked in oil, lit it on fire, and shot it into the powder, which exploded in bright red flashes.

“There! Nobody on the island would be able to miss that, Sanji included!” the sniper declared proudly, and everyone applauded. 

In a couple hours, they finally made it to the shore. Everyone hurried like mad to lower anchor and make their way to the beach. Franky decided to stay on The Sunny to finish the tidbits of repairs he was still doing as a result of the damage from the storm before joining the others. It took two trips, but everyone was on the shore and looking around, expectant, and disappointed when they spied an empty beach and empty fields that spread far down until a jungle came into view in the distance.

“Maybe… he missed it?” Nami suggested, voice trepid, but still trying to hold onto hope. Everyone nodded silently, no longer quite so excited, and proceeded toward the jungle. It was very warm, and humid, and when they finally made it into the trees, dark. Nami, Luffy, and Chopper made up one group while Brook, Zoro, and Robin made up the other. They decided to pan out and try to meet up in the middle of the jungle, hoping to cover the most area possible. Maybe Sanji was passed out somewhere.

Zoro lagged behind, eyes on his feet as he walked. An unsettled feeling filled his stomach as his heart grew heavy. Damn, he hadn’t thought he’d be so emotional over the cook. But damn, he hoped that they found him. When Zoro looked up, he froze. He was alone. There was no sign of Brook or Robin, and as he strained his ears, he could not hear them talking or moving through the overgrown brush. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

However, he suddenly heard bushes rustling to his left and turned toward the sound as he walked toward it. Perhaps they had fallen silent.

“Oi! Where are you guys?!” Zoro called as he moved, hearing the sound getting louder and suddenly, fast. He froze, realizing that it was approaching him at high speed. Habitually, the swordsman gripped his Wado as tension filled his muscles. Why didn’t they respond to his calls? Was this not them? It was louder now, very close, but all the overgrown vegetation obscured him from seeing what it was. A wild animal? The brush in front of him broke apart and Zoro tensed, his sword clinking its sheath, but never drawingit as a wild face and disheveled blonde hair exploded into view. Zoro froze, eyes growing wide in his surprise as a man with a curled brow bulldozed into him. He was knocked backward from the force of the man’s run, who had crashed right into him and they both hit the forest floor with a magnificent crash and a pained shout from the burlier of the two. Arms grabbed and clung tight, squeezing him so much that it was hard to breathe. It took a few seconds for Zoro to fully comprehend what his situation was.

He found the cook! Or… the cook found him. He was on his back, an upraised root to one of the colossal trees dug into his back. The blonde had his full weight on him as his arms were wrapped all around him, squeezing. Sanji’s head hurried into Zoro’s neck as mutterings whispered against his skin.

“Cook?” he asked, concerned by what sounded like insane, inaudible, rapid fire mutters.

“Cook!” he screamed, and the chef stopped talking, even stopped breathing for a minute, just squeezed him tighter. Zoro remained, deciding to not move. The… situation… was weird. Not very much like the cook.

“Zoro?” the voice was rough and cracked with weakness. Zoro paused, feeling his heart give an odd twist in concern. Wow, it was weird hearing his name from the cook, especially in such a raspy, weak voice.

“What?”

“I think... I died,” Sanji declared softly, and Zoro felt a chill race down his spine.

“No. You just smell really bad,” he declared, attempting to get a rise out of their chef.

“No, I died. I swallowed the seawater and choked. I struggled to breathe, but I couldn’t. I got dragged deep into blackness. I… I couldn’t see, I didn’t know what was up or down, I couldn’t breathe, and more water just kept rushing into my mouth. I couldn’t close it. It was… so fucking painful.” Sanji’s arms tightened as his hands balled into tight fists while his hug grew bruising.

“And I… I blacked out. I fucking died. But then, a couple hours ago, I woke up on the shore. I THREW up the water Zoro. TONS of water. I shouldn’t be alive,” he whispered, voice going brittle. Zoro grit his teeth, grasping how serious the blonde felt about it just from the fact that he had actually used his given name as his heart rate accelerated. Shit. What the hell was going on? If the cook only threw up all that water a few hours ago, that was over 24 hours his lungs had been filled with water. The fuck? This was weird.

“What should I do? I’m dead, Zoro. Nothing else explains it.” There was a tremor in his muscles. The chef was really shaken up about it. Geeze, this was all happening too fast, and way too weird.

“Who cares!” Zoro shouted, and Sanji twitched.

“You’re here. You’re breathing!” he growled as he forced the blonde to let him sit up so that he could get off the damned root in his back. He grabbed the blonde’s hand and gripped it, not noticing the light pink that dusted the blonde’s cheeks.

“You’re warm!” he declared and pressed his fingers to the cook’s wrist. “And you’ve got a pulse! Whether it makes sense or not, you’re alive! And everyone’s looking desperately for you!” 

Sanji stared, lips parting slightly. Zoro paused, realizing he was still holding the chef’s hand and immediately dropped it. The blonde got completely off of him finally and both sat as the swordsman crossed his arms awkwardly over his chest, his own cheeks pinking as he turned his head away to avoid meeting the blonde’s eyes. The way he was staring was embarrassing. It’s not like it was a big deal that he held his hand! Geeze, what was with this atmosphere?

“Who cares what happened. What matters is that you’re here now! So let’s meet up with the others already!” Zoro grunted, and it was silent a moment. Slowly, he chanced looking at the blonde, and immediately regretted it. There was an odd, smoldering look in the chef’s eyes.

“Okay,” he finally said.


	3. The Confession?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji makes a proclamation that completely throws Zoro for a loop. But... what was it? He hadn't been paying attention. Well, shit. This was bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys! A new update! But then I'm going off the grid for a week cuz... of reasons relating to my injury. But, I wanted to get this last bit up. I also will be needing to finish the first chapter of Undead Guardian Elise Loise for my Patreon. So fanfiction will have to take a backseat until that's done. Shouldn't be too bad. My deadline is April 2nd (when I'm supposed to post). So, next update first this fic will most likely be after that. But it will be coming! Could come earlier, it depends on how I manage my time, and how much I can stand. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter! Zoro digs himself into a bit of a hole.
> 
> I do not own One Piece or any of its related materials.
> 
> And thank you all, so much for all your support at this very trying time. Thank you all, thank you so much. It truly, deeply means a lot.

The walk back to the others was… awkward. The chef walked behind Zoro, wordlessly in his grungy, torn suit. He looked like he had gone through a meat grinder. The blonde had at least raked his fingers through his hair, smoothing it into proper place. He still seemed to have his shakes too, though the swordsman wasn’t sure if it was because of being freaked out, or because he was out a smokes, as the blonde kept searching his ususal pockets for his cancer sticks and lighter. He had in fact, swore under his breath when he realized his lighter was gone.

“Oi, Zoro,” Sanji suddenly called, and Zoro paused as he looked over his shoulder to see that the cook had stopped walking a few paces back. The blonde stared right into his eyes, and it gave an odd feeling in his chest as his heart fluttered. They had locked gazes many times, usually spitting curses at one another, but this… the cook was giving him that weird, smoldering, intense look again. 

“What?” Zoro asked as he turned to face the cook. Sanji started to fidget, picking at one particular tear in the left shoulder of his suit jacket.

“I’ve been thinking. You know, I should be dead,” he began, and Zoro had to resist letting a sigh escape. The cook still hadn’t stopped obsessing over it. Not that it wasn’t amazing as hell, but there was nothing they were going to figure out by talking about it nonstop. And he was beginning to suspect that it would be in the chef’s benefit to stop thinking about it so much, mental health wise. Though Zoro would be the first to admit he didn’t really know shit about that sort of stuff. Without a doubt, Chopper was going to have to do a thorough examination.

“Zoro!” The blonde’s voice cut into the air in a sharp, angry shout and the swordsman twitched. Zoro blinked in confusion and the blonde’s glare was sharp and nasty as his hands shook in tight fists at his sides.

“You fucking were ignoring me!” the cook hissed and Zoro felt his cheeks pink in humiliation. He hadn’t intended to. Fuck, what was with him?

“No,” the swordsman said, thinking he sounded weak in that defense. He hadn’t meant to get caught up in his thoughts.

“Bullshit!” Sanji snapped, his fidgets now angry as he jammed his hands into the pockets of his slacks before he marched up to Zoro and right on past him. The swordsman turned, bewildered. The cook had always been temperamental, but damn. Perhaps, out of pure common decency, he should do his best to give the chef all his attention until there were others to distract him. And thinking on it, he felt bad. Leaving the blonde to his thoughts when he was so messed up was definitely not a good idea. 

“Did you really… not hear what I said?” Sanji stopped to ask, his voice soft, sounding oddly vulnerable. Zoro froze and grit his teeth. Fuck, he was going to sound like such an asshole. Normally it wasn’t much of a concern, but it really wasn’t the time to be as he usually was around the blonde.

“Uh… no, I heard it. Sort of,” Zoro answered, though his voice fell to a mumble by the end. Sanji turned on him then, his look stern.

“You heard it, or you didn’t. So tell me moron, did you hear me?” the chef growled, and Zoro felt his head swim. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Lie and try to pretend he knew what was going on? Or admit that he hadn’t been listening, and prove himself a prick for lying.

“Uh, yeah. I heard. Sorry, it was just… surprising,” Zoro answered, his heart punding in his chest with his lie. Fuck, he did NOT lie. Ever. But the swordsman felt that if the blonde thought that he hadn’t heard, that things were going to go to shit fast. He was far too sensitive right now. When he got back to the others and got some good rest, he’d be a lot more stable. Honestly, the chef was freaking him out a little. Sanji paused and stared as he appeared to chew on the inside of his lips. His eyes bore into Zoro’s own and the first mate became very concerned that his eyes would give him away.

“Well? How do you feel about it?” Sanji asked, voice a mix between frustration and once again, uncertainty. Zoro cursed internally, wanting to kick himself. He should have been fucking honest. Why was this whole situation so messed up?

“Uh, it’s fine I guess,” Zoro answered, struggling as his mind tried to race through whatever could be said to cover the greatest of possibilities. “I mean, as long as you take care of yourself, let the others treat you, then it’s fine.”

Sanji gave him a funny look and Zoro could swear that he had begun to sweat. Damn, he couldn’t remember a time he was ever this nervous. And then he remembered, he was this freaked out when he ran into that marine girl that looked exactly like Kuina.

“What your personal feelingson what I asked?” Sanji asked, tension clear in his voice.

“Uh. I’m good with it. I mean, this is sort of awkward,” Zoro answered, deciding to see if maybe he could say the right thing to make the blonde reveal what he had said in some form. Sanji’s lips dipped down into a frown as his eyes lowered, almost as if in defeat, and the swordsman felt his heart drop a little. Fuck, just what did he say?!

“It is. I know it is. And I know that it came out of nowhere. But… you know. You’re right, it’s a miracle that I’m here. And I just thought, it was time for me to be honest with myself… about myself,” Sanji explained, his voice drifting into a whisper by the end of the statement. He looked up again and their eyes met, and Zoro felt his stomach flip.

“Just please, don’t tell the others. Even though I’ve decided to be open about it, I’m not ready to just advertise it to everyone. I’m sure they’re all going to flip out about it,” the blonde said and Zoro cursed internally again, wishing he knew what the big fucking deal was. Because apparently whatever the cook had said was huge! And it was weird to be the keeper of a secret he didn’t fucking know!

“I just… don’t think I’m ready for it yet. I need to some time to get back to normal. And then you can give me an answer then,” Sanji announced, then turned and started to walk forward, leading the way. Zoro stood, frozen in confusion and apprehension. His answer? For what?! Oh, what the fuck did he just do to himsefl?! He should have been fucking honest! Why did he lie?! He never lied! 

‘Fuck me’ Zoro growled internally, slapping his hand to his face as he started after the blonde. He had really screwed himself over with this one. What was with this entire situation? Why did it break every mold he was familiar with? Why couldn’t he have just been his normal self? No, he knew why. He was worried about the chef, and as a result had dug himself into a damn hole, and it was all his own fault.

The walk was silent and long. But they eventually made it to the center of the jungle, and as soon as the chef broke trough the foliage into a narrow clearing a cacaphony of noise greeted him. Every crewmember joined in on the dog pile, including Franky, which earned a hissy, cursing fit from the blonde. Zoro stood at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed over his stomach as he watched Luffy sob and snot all over the cook, who cursed and kicked him off with a strong right kick. Everyone slowly gave contragulations to the swordsman for having found their dear crewmate while Chopper made everyone wait in the clearing while he fully examined Sanji, as he refused to wait even one minute. The blonde said not one word about having only been awake for a small portion of the day, or about how he had drowned during the storm. He just smiled and quietly did whatever Chopper asked of him. 

Not wanting to chance running into, or discovering the reason why the island had the reading it did, everyone left the island and and sailed away on The Sunny, hoping to avoid any danger. They’d had enough danger and worry to last them at least a couple days. By evening Sanji was smiling and laughing a little, but everyone noticed he wasn’t his normal self while Zoro couldn’t stop watching the blonde. It was odd, every time the chef disapeared from his sight for even a minute, his heart would clench and race as he searched for the chef’s location. Nami and Robin decided to make dinner, since they didn’t trust anyone else to make edible food (which they had been doing since Sanji had gone overboard), and made sure that the cook rested. 

A party broke out in celebration of Sanji’s safe return and Zoro sat on the deck against the main mast with a mug of beer, his eyes watching the chef as he ate and conversed with the others. He still wasn’t himself, and he hadn’t swooned over the girls even once. He was very gracious and thankful to them, but no pervy, overly adoring attitude was present to be found. If anyone noticed, none voiced it. Zoro sat up sharply when he realized that the blonde had disapeared from his sight in a split second, and once again his cursed heart started to pound as his eyes searched through the excited bodes of their crew mates when a heavy sigh broke out to his right. The swordsman jumped a little and looked over to see the chef standing next to him, sipping some coffee. His clothes had changed, he wore a nice button down shirt and a fresh pair of black slacks. He actually looked pretty nice, though the swordsman would never admit that one out loud.

“Everyone’s so damn happy,” Sanji muttered as he got down and sat next to his first mate. Once Zoro calmed down, he relaxed and leaned back against the mast.

“Yeah. Their dear friend has returned safely. Of course they’re happy,” the swordsman grunted.

“Yeah, I know,” Sanji sighed as he pulled his knees up and open while he held his coffee in one hand that rested on his knee. A breeze picked up, ruffling his short cut of gold hair and the partially ubottoned and loose dress shirt, and Zoro felt his heart skip a damnable beat. What the fuck was going on? 

“So, you think about it?” Sanji asked as he lifted the mug and took a sip. Zoro froze. Shit.

“Uh...” the swordsman sounded and the chef gave an aggitated sigh.

“Look. I don’t mean to put pressure on you or anything. But you haven’t even given me an “I don’t know”, or a flat no or yes,” the blonde huffed.

“I know. Sorry,” Zoro grumbled and Sanji sighed again as he turned toward him and their eyes locked again. The swordsman tensed, caught with that smoldering gaze again.

“Just tell me, are you interested in me or not,” the blonde ordered and Zoro paused, his brain working out each word and their meaning. And then slowly, his face opened up in its surprise as his eyes grew wide. The cook gave a quizical look at him then and Zoro jumped, clearing his throat as his cheeks went from tan to dark, burning red. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. His heart was racing, pounding, and much to Zoro’s embarrassment, he realized it was brimming with sudden excitement. What did this all mean? Oh, shit. Now he knew exactly what the cook had beent alking about, and it all made sense. What didn’t make sense, was his own response coming out of nowhere. Though, to be honest, he had been very emotional since he had discovered the cook had gone overboard. Did he… actually like him that way, and not know it until he was gone? He had never liked anyone that way! Though that didn’t necessarily mean anything. 

“Oi, you okay in there?” Sanji asked as he leaned closer and Zoro jumped in place, head going down as his entire face, even to his ears went red.

“What are you so worked up about all of a sudden?” the blonde asked, a slight laugh to his deep voice. Fuck. Was he acting this way because of beer? Zoro immediately chucked the idea. No, he didn’t get drunk easy, and he hadn’t not drank nearly enough to get slightly buzzed.

“Come on, you can’t be drunk enough to act funny yet. I’ve seen you down a hell of a lot more and be perfectly fine,” Sanji laughed, and the swordsman found himself scrambling for an answer, before it was found out he had been lying. He really didn’t want to piss the chef off.

“Sorry. Just… all hit… all of a sudden,” he garbled and there was a pause before the chef chuckled, and the sound was… weird… alluring… and it wasn’t just a new interpretation. The cook was laughing differently than he usually did.

“So you’re embarrassed, huh? Didn’t know you could be so cute. I mean, you’ve got a pretty nonchalant personality,” the chef declared and the swordsman growled a little, not liking the teasing. This was new territory dammit! 

“Shut-up,” he grunted.

“Fine, fine,” Sanji said as he backed off and leaned back against the mast. It took a few moments, but Zoro was able to get himself to calm, stop blushing, and sit up right against the mast as well. It was silent a few moments longer between the two while the others partied away.

“So… do you need more time to think it over? I mean, I know it came out of nowhere. And that you may not know what to think,” Sanji offered and Zoro frowned, thinking hard on it. He did need more time. It was a lot to prcoess. The cook, was gay. Maybe bi. Or maybe… what else was there again? He really didn’t think about any of that stuff.

“Yeah.” Was all the swordsman could muster in his awkwardness and the chef nodded. 

“Okay. Not what I was hoping for, but I’m not gonna pressure you. I’m new to this too. I mean, I spent my entire life trying to deny it and today I just decided that I should be honest and be myself. I’m going to stop denying who I am. I like who and what I like, and I just don’t care anymore about what I’m thought of by others. What matters is that I’m happy during what time I have in my life,” Sanji explained and Zoro nodded, understanding the sentiment. 

“Well, I’ll give you space. Don’t want you to feel pressured with me next to you,” Sanji said as he stood and Zoro watched the blonde as he joined back into the group and sat down at a table that had been set up on deck for the barbecue. Zoro watched him, his heart flipping and fluttering in his hot chest. Well, he had a lot to think about and reflect on. He first and foremost needed to understand about himself what the cook had apparently been denying of himself. Wasn’t that he had been denying himself, the swordsman had honestly just always had others things occupy his mind. And no one had ever expressed interest in him, ever. At least not that he had noticed. Zoro took a drink of his beer. Yeah, he had a lot to think about.


	4. His Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji reflects on his life as he waits for Zoro's answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh. Here's another chapter. Unfortunately, my pain levels have increased from damage to the wound, which is really frustrating as the doctor's still keep failing me. I'm going to a specialized clinic now, maybe I can finally be fixed? I'm having trouble keeping hope. 
> 
> Anyway, The Punk and The Prude won the poll! With Circumstances of The Heart and Sex second. I'm happy it got second. That fic revolves around another topic that gets often pushed under the rug in general, real life and not. And because of that, a lot of people just don't understand it and recently have been mischaracterizing it. And I'd like to expose it to people.
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy this look into Sanji's mind!
> 
> I do not own One Piece or any of it's related materials.
> 
> Also, I wanted to note that I started a Patreon! Feel free to drop by and check it out! It's for writing.
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/Darksinokaru

To say that waiting for an answer that could either make your heart swell with love and confidence, or shatter it into a million pieces was easy, would obviously be a lie. It was never easy, and most people experienced it at least one time in their lives he reasoned. Sanji couldn’t stay still, couldn’t focus. His heart had given into anxiety induced races more than once through the day. Being back in the kitchen cooking and cleaning helped to take his mind from the tension winding up in his chest. However, in his desperate attempts to keep calm and not think about an impending doom or future romance, his mind drifted often to the sea.

How had he lived through that? He could still remember the crushing weight, the choking, the burn in his chest, the panic that raced through his mind. He became unresponsive in shock as the violent sea dragged him down deeper, and deeper until he could see nothing. When Sanji woke up, it with a violent jolt and harsh vomiting. His mind raced in panic as his lungs sought desperately for air, expelling all the water from within with incredible violence until he was finally able to suck in through raspy, sharp pitched gasps, his much loved air. Sanji vomited shortly after on the beach, the gentle waves of the sea washing passed him and cleaning away the stomach acid he had spilled onto the wet, smooth sand. He had stayed still for a long, a very long moment, his body giving into exhausted quivers as he slowly recovered full function of his mind, and then his weak muscles. It felt as though he’d been through the most grueling battle of his life, and there were the bruises and gashes in his skin to further compliment the metaphor. 

Standing had been a struggle at first, his legs were just so tired, and he stumbled for a few minutes before he was able to stagger onto shaking legs and started toward the green. Green meant clean water, right? Though water was definitely not something he wanted to be around, he realized that he was thirsty as hell, probably from swallowing all that salt water. He struggled across the vast greenery toward the jungle, and to his luck, just on the outskirts was a small pond. He could see nothing weird swimming in it, and though he knew he needed to decontaminate it, he didn’t have much choice. He collapsed heavily onto his knees at the water’s edge, cupped his hands into the water, and drank greedily until his raw, dry throat felt wet and more comfortable, though the burning in his throat and lungs persisted for a while. He had found some mushrooms that he recognized from markets and eaten a few of those while sitting at the base of a huge tree. He had been there for a while, and begun to nod off while thinking of the rest of the crew. To be honest with himself, he didn’t even remember how he’d fallen off, he just remembered the falling, the view of the dark turbulent sky, and then hitting the ocean before he could do anything to react. The others surely noticed he was gone by now, right? Would they come to look for him? Or would they assume him dead at the bottom of the sea? No, they were a stubbornly hopeful bunch. The island couldn’t have been that far, even if the storm had managed to carry him quite far. Surely Nami would think of it, right? And then, unbidden to himself, that damn swordsman came to mind. He smiled and gave a huff of a laugh as he drifted off to the sound in his memory of the first mate’s angry snarl.

Sanji ran toward the park. He had escaped from that horrid family and fully intended to play with Akira. He was fun, and the blonde boy was excited to see him again. Whenever he had to go home and face his family, all he could ever think about was seeing the dark haired boy. His friend. Sanji remembered pulling back from Akira once, looking into the stunned eyes of the other. They stared for a long moment, not entirely grasping what they had done, meant. 

“Uh, that was weird,” Akira muttered and stood up with a grin. “Let’s go check out the place with the scary old hag again!” Sanji stood as well, agreeing excitedly. It didn’t take long for him and Akira to forget all about it. The odd thing they had done because they had heard about adults doing it. The kiss.

Sanji couldn’t wait until he no longer was forced to do nothing but wash dishes. He wanted to get out and go to the all blue! Those old guys were stupid and annoying! Though, the chore boy was cool. Sanji liked talking to him when they both managed to have time off at the same time. Something just felt good around him, he felt comfortable. The blonde felt warm, right in his heart when they would have a great time together. Eventually, Sanji found himself sitting so close, right against him, sometimes they would even brush shoulders. And it made him so happy. And the day they hugged, he couldn’t help the indescribable happiness he felt. But the day he realized that he wasn’t supposed to, he pulled away. If the chore boy he couldn’t remember the name to anymore noticed, he never voiced it. But as the blonde pulled away, that warmth and happiness disappeared, and was replaced instead with a complacence. 

Working at the Baratie was grueling. That old fart was a slave driver, and though Sanji had nothing but malice in his words when they spoke, he worked with absolute dedication. He may have only been 14, but he fully understood and appreciated that the old man had been willing to die for him. Though the guilt of what he had planned to do ate at him constantly, which only pushed him to work harder. He was glad, that he hadn’t gone through with his callous actions. Though hunger could drive people to do the most unthinkable of things if the circumstances were right. 

“Man. Never expected that of Moriama. Talk about… geeze,” Sanji paused from what he had been doing peeling potatoes and leaned a little closer toward the door leading into the break room at the back of the kitchen.

“Damn! I mean, so he’s one of those,” another voice said, and a few other voices joined in.

“I mean, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“What do you mean! He was caught makin’ out with another man! Doesn’t that make ya feel uncomfortable?”

“Not really. I mean, just because he likes men doesn’t mean he’s going to come onto me,”

“What if he does?”

“I’d just tell him that I was flattered, but that I wasn’t interested.” There was a pause.

“You’re one too, aren't ya?” There was tension in the voice that gasped out.

“What?! Oh, no! No! I like women!” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes!”

“Better not be. I don’t tolerate fag’s working with me. It’s immoral and disgusting.”

For some reason Sanji couldn’t fathom, he felt a cold chill when he recognized tone, so angry and… full of judgment. His heart sank in his stomach for some reason and he swallowed. Geeze. Not long later their coworker was beaten by some supposedly unknown assailants and stripped naked and tied to a pole with a piece of paper taped to his chest, reading “fag”. Sanji had gotten pissed, wanted to get justice, because no one should be treated that way just for liking other guys. But the looks he received, the judgment, the silent accusations shut him up as the grown men seemed to suddenly grow so much larger, so much more menacing. He wasn’t exactly sure, for he was never one to back down, but for some reason, he felt too vulnerable, too weak before their gaze.

The young chef became very engrossed with the subject of gay and straight for a while, and as he thought on it, there were certain things that he realized, that made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. He realized that he didn’t mind a guy getting close or hitting on him. But when he had been hit on at a bar by a very drunk brunette, his heart had raced in panic and he had quickly told the guy off with force and left shortly after. He then slowly came to realize that he didn’t necessarily view men as just men, but rather that there were various degrees of attractiveness, attractiveness that… horrifying, caught his attention. The unsettled feeling burrowed deeper and deeper into his core, to the point that Sanji decided to force himself to focus on the girls around him. They were indeed pretty, but he noticed with horror, that they didn’t quite offer what he felt those attractive men did. It took effort, to force himself to only look at girls. And as he relaxed, he found that he did indeed find certain types of girls to be quite attractive, and arousing. It eased his mind considerably, and allowed some of his stress over his sexuality to ease. But every once in a while, a certain type of man would wander into the Baratie and the chef found himself trying a little too much to focus on the girls and ignore the man. He didn’t want to be gay. He didn’t want to be bi. He just wanted… to be straight. He wanted to be what was expected. He wanted to be straight.

And then in came the Straw Hats. Sanji had froze when he spied the swordsman sitting at the table with a beautiful young woman. And he realized with fear, that both were very attractive. But something just… caught him about the green haired swordsman. So damn good looking, and his voice, even that was distracting. And it made all of his discomfort come back, made it explode. To the point that the first time he was face to face with the pirate, he did the only thing he knew how to do to calm himself down, make himself feel better. And that was to start a fight, to push the feeling away and make himself feel “manly” again. And it was hit and miss, sometimes it helped, other times it didn’t. To be honest, one of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to join his now beloved crew was because of the swordsman, once he had seen him. It was only a small reason, but it was there, nagging at the back of his mind. And it became even more confusing the longer he knew that swordsman, Roronoa Zoro. Dammit, if he couldn’t help memorizing his voice, his speech patterns, what each octave indicated, what each tick of his facial muscles indicated, what his body language spoke. He tried to focus so much on the girls and be the self he had become accustomed to, but Zoro never truly let him, not truly. And it was a source of constant stress.

“Oi! Where are you guys?!”

The sound jolted the chef awake. Sanji sat up, his entire body tingling with weakness and the vestiges of the half sleep he had been in while his memories had run through his mind, centered all one topic. He heard the brush moving, and he could tell the footfalls. He was sure, he had heard _his_ voice. He was sure of it! A part of him worried it might have only been a dream, but Sanji jumped to his feet and bolted toward the source of the movement in the brush. Deeper into the forest he dashed until suddenly, there he was, right in front of him. He didn’t give two shits anymore and lunged forward, grabbing the swordsman for all he was worth. He heart raced in panic, surging with adrenaline over it all, over drowning and dying, and because he for the first time, didn’t care that he was holding Zoro, and was relieved to do so.

“Oi, cook. I need some water,” Zoro’s voice called and Sanji jumped a little as he snapped from his thoughts, the glass he had been washing cluttering into the sink. He looked over, eyes wide to meet equally wide eyes. The swordsman looked immediately regretful to have been there, and as if that were truly his feeling, he started to back out the door like a scolded child. The blonde scrambled to grab the words he needed to stop him.

“Wait!” he cried, and Zoro froze. Sanji took a breath to try and calm his racing heart. “Water, right? Sure,” he answered, trying to sound more like his normal self. He turned to open a cupboard and grab a glass, peeking over his shoulder as he did so to check and see if the first mate was still there. To his relief, Zoro had stopped backing out the door and had in fact come in completely and stood near by as he filled the glass with some chilled water from the fridge. Putting the glass down, Sanji had to slap the swordsman’s hand to stop him from grabbing it. Zoro grunted as Sanji grabbed one of the freshly cut lemons he had prepared for what he was planning to make, and with a small slit from a knife, pressed it onto the rim of the glass and finishing with a straw. When he was done he slid it a couple inches toward the burlier man, who looked at him with a cocked eyebrow and the blonde felt his old discomfort come back. With a glare he prepared to take it back, but Zoro quickly snatched it from his attempted grab and took a long suck from the straw. Sanji felt his heart flip in his chest and his cheeks warmed as he watched. Fuck, that was… cute.

“Thanks,” Zoro said as he turned and started for the door with his drink. Sanji stood, frozen and overcome with a strong feeling of disappointment and coming stress. When was he going to hear an answer? When were things going to change? Or were they never going to change? He had gone on such a limb, had taken such a leap. This wait was killing him. The door closed and the chef remained standing in place, silent and by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://darksinokaru.tumblr.com/post/159052467455/would-anyone
> 
> http://darksinokaru.tumblr.com/post/159132295535/writing-commission-fandom-info


	5. It's Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, even if so many words were not exchanged, finally, they had spoken what they needed to. Even if it were just through the curve of a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the udpate. I'm sorry this is so short, and that it's taken a while. I've been... bad. But I don't want to go into anymore detail than that. But, I have an appointment with the specialized clinic on the 9th of June. Can't remember if I've even said that before. I hope I can get the surgery I need. Anyway, it seems I was lacking a bit last chapter, and I see it when I read it. I'm terribly sorry for that. I think the last chapter got a bit sloppy in how I had attempted to write it by doing a series of flashbacks, and I apologize for that. I don't think they came out very clear, unfortunately. I hope that this one is a lot better! So much self-reflection in this story in general. lol
> 
> Anyway, I sincerely hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and forgive its shortness. Hopefully in a day or two I can update again to make up for it. And I will get started on The Punk and The Prude. I just really wanna try and find a good online rhyming dictionary (I've been wanting to buy a book for years). I thought I could try and maybe actually write a song or two for that fic. lol Anyway, thank you all so much for your support so far! It truly means a lot! Thank you, so much.
> 
> And if any of you have been keeping tabs on my stories on Patreon, I finally managed to get the second chapter of Undead Guardian out. It was delayed way more than it should have been because of my injury. But it's up now!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the cuteness of sanji/zoro!
> 
> I do not own One Piece or any of its related materials.
> 
> I really hope you guys like this chapter!

He was lost. He was fucking lost. Roronoa Zoro was the most lost he had ever been in life, and he knew exactly where his feet stood. He couldn’t believe that the cook thought of him that way. It had come out of nowhere, so out of the blue, but then again, what could he expect. He couldn’t read minds. The chef had nearly died it seems, should have died. The entire ordeal of him going overboard was still a mystery, as Zoro did not believe the blonde could easily be knocked overboard, but the fact was that he had nearly drowned in the ocean. They’ve been fighting against death for years as pirates, but never had they truly, truly believed they would die, they never would give up their desire to live. But Sanji felt that he should have died, and that… such a thing took a large toll on people. Zoro didn’t doubt that the cook felt the way he said, but in that rush of joy to be alive, in that turbulent storm of emotion from having survived such a harrowing ordeal, he had just blurted out what he had felt was a huge mistake, a huge regret. Apparently his feelings must have been strong, and had bothered him deeply for a long time for him to have decided to confess.

It was awkward. He didn’t know how to think about it, he had never had to think about such a topic before. No one had ever told him they liked him, and he had never even been hit on that he realized at least. This was entirely uncharted territory and the swordsman was confused and flustered. It had been three days, and each time he bumped into the cook, he felt awkward and had to look away, or else he thought his heart might seriously rip its way out of his chest. And meal time was a meal of cold sweats and attempts to try and keep his face from going hot. He sure hoped no one else noticed, but Zoro was paranoid everyone could tell.

What was it like? To be with someone? Zoro had never really liked to think about sex that much, even the times his prick reacted to no particular stimulus, it was always awkward. Zoro felt it a serious fault that he did not fully experience the emotions and desires for mutual love and sexual desire that others did. When the other boys had started talking about girls and became curious about sex, he suddenly found himself alienated. It was easier, just to focus on the sword. To ignore all that stuff, it wasn’t important, it would not make him a stronger swordsman, so why bother? Zoro had successfully avoided it all for the most part, but now, each time he thought of the cook his heart would oddly flutter in his chest and he felt his face redden. And the almost giddy feeling that shot down to his toes when their eyes met and the blonde paused, giving him his fully attention, which was something the cook had never done before, was insane. Did this mean he liked him back? Zoro had tried to sit and meditate on it, but in the end gave up when he only succeeded in embarrassing himself. The swordsman wished he could give an answer immediately, but he was so turned around he couldn’t think of what to say. Yes? What if he said yes and it turned out it was a mistake? What if this feeling meant something else? What if they didn’t work out? What exactly would they be doing as a couple? Would they have special moments together in private, would they talk, would they laugh? Those thoughts were so appealing at the time, but what if they faded? What if they started fighting again? Damn those what ifs. Zoro wasn’t a man to dwell on what ifs, he did what he needed and wanted to, he wasn’t bashful, but still, this wasn’t like anything he had experienced before. It wasn’t like pursuing an opponent or taking a risk for his friends. This was on a whole new level of intimate, it made him vulnerable. 

It was on the fourth night of avoiding the awkwardness he felt around the chef that he had one of those dreams. Zoro awoke, feeling hot and sweaty, and as he sat up, he recognized the ache in his cock, and as clarity came to him, the dream that had begun to fade from his mind was revived and the awkwardness reached an all new level. To think he actually had a dream like that, where the blonde touched him and kissed him. Zoro had never actually had one that starred a person that he remembered, usually he just woke up with an awkward morning wood. But this time, it was the direct result of his subconscious. 

Zoro grunted and relaxed to try and wait it out, it would calm down after a bit. But as he stared out the windows of the lookout, his cheeks flushed. Perhaps that dream was his brain telling him what he was too awkward to acknowledge. That damn chef, that cocky, handsome, annoying cook. It was still dark out as Zoro left the lookout, spurred by a strong and sudden desire to look at the blonde, and as he peeked into the men’s dorm, his eyes fell on the blonde’s back. He slept peacefully, hugging a pillow like usual it looked like. His heart skipped a beat and he felt his cheeks pink as adrenaline rushed through his veins. It was such a bad fucking time, the wrong fucking time, though it would admittedly be memorable. He carefully made his way through the dorm, looking around in the low light of the cabin in the hopes of not waking anyone. With each step, his heart pounded harder until he was at the cook’s side. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. This was so damn new it was almost, almost scary. Being with someone was nothing like a battle, this was a battle he had never taken on, and if he lost, it would mean wounds he had no idea what to do to heal. But he knew that if he turned away because of this, he would be a coward, and he was no coward, and definitely not over a mere possibility. He touched the blonde’s shoulder, who made a sleeping grunt and gave a roll of his shoulder, which was followed by him rubbing his head against the pillow he was hugging. 

“Cook,” Zoro whispered, not deterred as he shook his shoulder and the blonde murmured while he stirred. It took a second as the blonde finally lifted his head, one hand raising up to rub at his eyes as he looked over his shoulder to see him knelt there. Sanji’s eyes cleared of sleepiness as they locked gazes. Zoro felt his cheeks redden more as he averted his eyes awkwardly a moment.

“What is it?” Sanji whispered as he looked around at their sleeping crewmates and the dark night sky from the window nearby. It took a moment to collect his voice from his awkwardness, but Zoro managed to say it.

“I’ve got your answer,” he whispered, and the blonde jerked up a little bit as he moved onto his back and sat up, eyes wide. Zoro chanced a glance and saw that Sanji’s cheeks were red as well, which made him feel somewhat more assured. He wasn’t the only one being afflicted by these symptoms. Zoro opened his mouth to give his answer when a hand covered his lips and he looked up. Sanji held his index finger of his lips in a silent gesture before he removed the digit and leaned closer to Zoro.

“Not here. Let’s go out,” he suggested, and Zoro dumbly nodded. Sanji put his feet to the floor and into his shoes. He fished out his cigarettes and lighter from his top coat before he stood and they both quietly left the dorm and out into the chilly night air under the bright glow of the full moon. The blonde lit up a cigarette and took a drag while Zoro leaned on the railing to collect his voice, he didn’t want to sound stupid or have his voice crack or something humiliating like that when he said it.

“So, what’s your answer?” Sanji asked, sounding nonchalant, but Zoro did pick up on the faint quiver of uncertainty in his deep voice, though he supposed it could have been because he had just been asleep.

“Uh...” Zoro cursed under his breath. He had been about to blurt it in the heat of the moment, but now he was feeling fucking too awkward again. He grit his teeth before he took in a deep breath and released it. He parted his lips and his cheeks reddened in humiliation when a crack of sound quietly passed his lips instead of words of intelligence. Fucking hell, he was a fucking moron! Zoro didn’t dare to look at the chef, to see the expression on his face while he tried to say what should have been so easy, or was it this difficult for everyone? Or maybe it was just him. The swordsman twitched when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see the blonde looking at him, his eyes sober and resolute.

“I don’t think I can take this anymore, man. I need an answer,” Sanji informed, and Zoro felt his humiliation increase. Of course he was making this fucking difficult. The blonde had been waiting, probably stressed for his answer for days. Why was this so hard? It was so stupid!

“Zoro. I really hope that you don’t punch me for this. But I think I’ll get your answer loud and clear if I do this,” Sanji suddenly declared, voice filled with conviction. Zoro found his shoulder grabbed and jerked hard so that they faced each other, and before he could ask what was being meant, the smell of smoke pressed in around him as the tickle of the blonde’s hair brushed his face registered. He felt it then, the soft, warm feel of lips pressed to his own. Zoro froze in mind and body, eyes wide as his heart about burst in his chest. He just… the cook just fucking… fuck. The lips remained still a moment, but then they pressed harder against his, and he felt his jaw quiver as the chef angled his head and their lips pressed more tightly together. His heart raced at a speed he had never truly experienced even in battle as the cook slid his fingers into the hair at the back of his head and Zoro felt his hands twitch on the rail. What was he doing? Just standing there, not moving. It was maddening, the adrenaline, as he lifted his hands and grabbed the chef’s upper arms. The blonde made a sound that the swordsman could not place, but knew it was happy as the chef’s other hand dropped its cigarette and wrapped around his waist. It was an explosion of energy, so much so Zoro wasn’t sure his body with all its sturdiness could contain it was they pressed tighter together, lips kissing repeatedly before the chef’s tongue prodded at his lips. Despite all the awkwardness and concern for a strange unknown that he had never experienced in his life, the swordsman parted his lips. And it registered with striking clarity that this was the first time he had ever felt another human’s tongue. Slippery, cool yet warm as the muscles slid together and curled, seeking affection. Zoro remained quite stunned still, even his tongue, but as the chef encouraged he quickly familiarized himself with the pattern of movement and mimicked it until he felt more confident before they pulled apart for breath. Zoro blinked, dizzy and entirely out of breath as he realized he had stopped breathing for a long moment. He looked to the blonde, who wiped some of the spittle from around his mouth with a smile as the moon cast a brilliant glow upon the cook's image.

“I’m so glad, Zoro. You have no idea who happy this makes me.” And that smile, Zoro recognized it immediately. It was the same sort of smile that his adopted father gave him, it was a smile of gentleness. And love. Of someone who had accepted him, faults and all ages ago. It was the smile of someone who loved him, and treasured that he had ever been born.


End file.
